Children, Please Be Kind to Your Parents

Navigating the Flaws and Strengths of Those Who Raised Us

Photo by Viktor Forgacs on Unsplash

Last week, I penned some thoughts on how parents should be good to their children, reflecting on that heavy, emotional story of the Menendez brothers. But this week, let’s flip the script. Let’s talk about children—us, the kids—being kind to our parents.

Let me start with a truth that’s both simple and easily forgotten: your parents are human too. They’re not superheroes. They’ve stumbled, and they’ve probably made some choices they wish they could take back. But you know what? They did what they could with what they knew, and that counts for something.

Growing up, there’s this weird shift that happens. At some point, we stop seeing our parents as the infallible forces we thought they were when we were little. We start noticing the cracks in their armour, the flaws in their thinking, the way their experiences shaped them, for better or worse. And let’s be real, that can be frustrating. But it’s also a moment where we can start practicing a little more kindness.

See, most of our parents were doing their best. Sure, maybe they didn’t attend that school play because they were pulling overtime to pay the bills. Maybe they didn’t quite know how to comfort you when you were going through a tough time because they never got the kind of emotional support they needed growing up. It doesn’t mean they didn’t care. It means they were operating from the best place they knew how.

Aging parents, too, are a whole other dynamic. You’ve got these strong figures who once took care of everything now needing help with basic things. It’s humbling—and sometimes irritating—but it’s also an opportunity to give back. The kindness you show them now, the patience and care, speaks volumes. It’s the cycle of life, right? One day, we’ll be the ones asking for a little more time, a little more understanding, as we figure things out in our older years.

But here’s the kicker—this doesn’t mean just being a dutiful child out of obligation. It’s about seeing your parents for who they are: flawed, resilient, trying. Being kind means cutting them some slack for not being perfect. It means reaching out when you feel disconnected, instead of waiting for them to initiate (yes, they may be stubborn, but so are we). It means acknowledging that their struggles, insecurities, and mistakes don’t define them any more than our own do.

Being kind to your parents isn’t about ignoring their shortcomings or pretending everything was rosy. It’s about finding empathy. They were once in your shoes—navigating life, trying to figure out who they were, facing pressures and uncertainties we may never fully understand.

And hey, if you’re lucky enough to still have your parents around, this is the time to appreciate them. We don’t get forever. Listen to their stories, even the ones they’ve told a thousand times. Be present. Give them grace. They’re not perfect, but neither are we. And that’s okay.

So, this week, as you navigate your life, maybe pick up the phone and check in with them. Ask them how they’re really doing. You might be surprised at what you learn.

What’s your relationship with your parents like these days? Have you noticed a shift in how you see them as you’ve gotten older?