The Myth of "Having It All"

let’s be real for a moment

Photo by Thomas Kinto on Unsplash

Ah, the elusive promise of “having it all.” We’ve all heard it—whispered in graduation speeches, plastered across self-help books, embedded in Instagram captions that feature someone “effortlessly” balancing career, family, friends, fitness, travel, and whatever new wellness trend is in vogue.

It’s a beautiful idea, isn’t it? The belief that with the right mindset, hustle, and time management app, we can juggle all the balls without dropping a single one. Except, let’s be real for a moment—nobody actually has it all. At least, not all at once.

What we don’t see in these curated visions of “having it all” are the trade-offs. Because every choice comes with one. The ambitious career may come at the cost of time with family. The meticulously healthy lifestyle may come at the expense of spontaneous late-night pizza runs with friends. Even the “perfect” Instagram mom might quietly wrestle with burnout behind her camera lens.

The myth of “having it all” is built on a dangerous premise: that life is a pie where everyone gets an equally sized slice of everything. But life isn’t a pie. It’s more like a game of Tetris. You prioritize what fits best in the moment, knowing some pieces will inevitably fall by the wayside. And that’s okay.

The real challenge isn’t achieving some mythical balance of perfection; it’s learning to live intentionally with what matters most to you. To say, “This is where I’m investing my energy right now,” without apologizing for what you’ve temporarily set aside.

So, can you “have it all”? Sure—just not all at once, and not without sacrifices. The real question is: what do you actually want to have? Because chasing someone else’s version of “all” might leave you feeling like you’ve got nothing at all.

The next time you feel the pressure to do everything, be everything, and achieve everything, remind yourself of this: life isn’t about having it all. It’s about defining your “all”—and owning it unapologetically.