You Didn’t Hear This From Me…

The Gospel According to Nigerian Gossip

Photo by James Lee on Unsplash

There’s a peculiar Nigerian ritual that plays out across dinner tables, voice notes, and midnight gist sessions:

“I’m only telling you this because I trust you. Please, don’t tell anyone.”

And of course, you nod solemnly.
Until you realise… you’re the fifth person hearing it.
And you’ll probably share it with someone you trust too.

Congratulations. You’ve just inherited an open secret - that wonderful Nigerian paradox of something that is both deeply confidential and widely known.

It’s a dance we’ve all learned.
We whisper.
We preface everything with, “You didn’t hear this from me o.”
We say, “Let’s protect their privacy,” while discussing their life like a group project.

And yet, it’s not always malicious. Sometimes, it’s how we process, how we care, how we stay connected. We share stories not just for drama, but for context. For caution. For curiosity. For comfort.

But still, there’s a line. And we cross it often.

We confuse access with authority.
Just because someone trusted you with their story doesn’t mean you’re its distributor.

There’s also the false intimacy of “exclusive gist.” It feels like friendship, but sometimes it’s just well-dressed gossip.
We call it bonding, but it’s often betrayal with better lighting.

Here’s the thing:
Not every secret is yours to share.
And some silences are more loyal than any prayer you could post.

So maybe next time someone starts a sentence with, “Just keep this between us…”
We ask ourselves: why are they telling me?
And why do I want to pass it on?

Because in a country where secrets wear microphones and privacy has a curfew,
being the one who doesn’t repeat the story…
is a rare kind of honour.