How to Stop Being Petty (Even When They Deserve It)

peace > plotting

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Let’s be honest: Pettiness is deeply satisfying.

There’s something delicious about leaving that message on read, replying with a full stop instead of a heart, or liking someone’s “major life update” with a single 😐 just to remind them you haven’t forgotten that thing they did in 2019.

Petty is never loud. It’s subtle. Elegant. It’s a facial expression in a group chat. A “lol” instead of a “haha.” A one-word RSVP. It’s the art of low-key revenge disguised as emotional intelligence.

And yet… it’s exhausting.

Because here’s the thing about being petty:
It never actually fixes anything.
It’s a sugar rush for your ego and a stomach ache for your soul.

So how do you stop being petty?
Here’s a crash course in humility and maturity (unfortunately):

1. Ask yourself: What’s the win?

Is the goal to prove a point? Make them feel small? Subtly shame them with your restraint? Cool. You’ll win that round… and still feel hollow after.

2. Mute, don’t monitor.

The best way to not be petty is to not be present for the performance. Mute the story. Mute the chat. Mute the emotional need to be the “bigger person” in a way that still drips with condescension.

3. Write the shady response. Then delete it.

Get it out of your system. Be dramatic in your drafts. Then close the tab and drink water. Grown-ups hydrate and rise above.

4. Channel it into your glow-up.

The best revenge is always peace. And skin that radiates like you’re not mad at anyone.

5. Remember: pettiness is borrowed confidence.

You don’t need it when you’re actually secure. Petty is often a mask for "I wanted more from you." Maturity says: "But I’ll be fine without it."

So no, you don’t have to clap back. You don’t need to perform closure. You don’t have to out-silence them.

You can just… let it go. Quietly. Gently. Unbothered.

Because peace looks better than pettiness on everyone.
Even you.